Term 4 Written Language

WALT write a character description of a person we know very well.

We know we have achieved this when we …

-    have written about the person’s physical appearance (the way they look).

-    have written about the person’s behaviour (how they speak or act).

-    have written about how they affect other people (what do they do to make you notice them).

-    have written about the person’s environment and belongings.

-    used descriptive words to make a picture in the mind of the reader

My Mum by Natalia Mulqueen

My mum is 30 and wears make up, black shoes, earrings, a black hair tie and brown short hair. Her skin is a normal colour. She has brown eyes, is tall and has a bit of blond hair and is skinny. She wears a necklace and rings and contact lenses and laughs a lot. She has long nails and short toenails. She sometimes wears glasses. She is a little bit freckly. Mum is very kind and is happy all the time. She loves seeing people, laughs and always has her phone with her. She tucks me in to bed. If there is an earthquake, she always comes into my room to check that I am all right. My mum always wears black tops and black tights. She works at State. At her work, she solves problems on the phone. She also does a lot of housework. She has her room outside.

Feedback:

You have tried to use some good adjectives in your description to create that picture about your Mum. I like the way you have tried to start sentences in different ways.

Next steps:

1.    Organise your description into paragraphs – what she physically looks like, about her personality/behaviour, and about her environment/belongings.

Try to join some of the shorter sentences together or expand some of the ideas further. E.g. “She has brown eyes, is tall and has a bit of blond hair and is skinny.” You could have perhaps broken these up